Why is dating so difficult?

In the past 20 years, I’ve asked dozens of girls to go out.  I’ve tried online dating.  I’ve tried speed dating.  During this time, I’ve had one girlfriend.  We went out for seven weeks.  On the final day of our relationship, my ex-girlfriend asked me to go to church.  One of my friends recommended that if I was going to church, that I make a sincere effort to actually listen to the pastor.  That morning, the pastor taught us a metaphor.  In his metaphor, our sins are weighing us down like rocks in a backpack.  If we went through a period of mourning and sincerely repented for our sins, God would lift the metaphorical rocks out of our backpack and free us going forwards.  Since I don’t believe in God, going through a period of mourning would be a waste of time for me.  I would rather sleep in, watch a television show, or read a book instead of going to church every week.  I broke up with my ex-girlfriend that evening over the phone.

The craziest thing that I tried was a dating course taught by a company called Love Systems.  After hours of in class instruction, we went to the Roadhouse bar to apply the techniques.  At the bar, the instructor would point out different pairs of girls, then ask students to approach the girls.  I’d have to use a line like “hey guys, can you think of a good way to break up a wedding?”  The instructor mentioned that I needed to deliver the line in a playful and fun manner.  However, since I speak in a monotone, this line was generally ineffective.  We were supposed to be at the Roadhouse from 10:00pm until 2:00am.  By 1:00am, I told the instructor I wasn’t feeling well so I could go home.  It was frustrating to use ineffective lines over and over.  After three hours, the worst moments occurred if the instructor accidentally asked me to approach the same pair of girls a second time.  The girls would respond that they already answered the same question earlier that night.  I’d wind up apologizing to the girls and walking away embarrassed.

Another issue that many people with Asperger’s Syndrome have is a hyper sensitivity to noise.  It’s extremely distracting when you have to scream over music to have a conversation with someone.  My psychologist recommended that I forget about any technique taught by Love Systems.

On a different note, the most shocking thing that ever happened to me at a wedding reception was when a cute girl walked up to my dinner table and started talking to me.  I asked my friend Alex multiple times if I was imagining things.  I thought I hit my head on something because girls never walk up and approach me first to chat at a wedding reception.  I eventually went snowboarding with the cute girl from the wedding reception, but in the end, she only wanted to be platonic friends.


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